


take it slow

by splashstar



Category: Project DIVA (Video Games), Vocaloid
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splashstar/pseuds/splashstar
Summary: “i would never do anything to hurt you. ever.”his voice comes out as a strained whisper. “promise?”--punkish/guilty modules; guilty learns something about punkish.
Relationships: Amour/Innocent, Guilty/Punkish, Hatsune Miku/Megurine Luka (mentioned), Kagamine Len/Kaito
Kudos: 16





	take it slow

**Author's Note:**

> tbh i've always loved the idea of the modules having their own personalities/backstories depending on their respective songs (and i'm glad pdx played around with the differing personalities idea a little bit) but i never really explored it in the form of fanwork creation besides that one other fic i wrote with bad boy/general in 2018 so,, here's this thing that's been on the backburner for a while.....if this feels fast/different from my usual pacing it's bc i wrote it in 2 hrs lol
> 
> there is One (1) intimate part, but nothing too bad

there are many different ways you could describe him up on the stage, singing his song: energetic, lively, _definitely_ a skilled performer. but when the song is over, you remember that, once he's off that stage, no longer underneath the blinding white and yellow lights and in the presence of the audience, he's completely different.

generally, he’s more reserved. sometimes when he and reactor are in the same room, he’ll be a _little_ more animated, but just enough that he’ll still balance out her unending liveliness. besides that, he doesn’t talk very often, and he keeps a lot to himself.

he used to not be so quiet, though. you don’t know what happened, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re kind of afraid to ask in case it's something personal. you and everyone else just assumed it was him trying to be more mature, and that seems to have been the working explanation for the longest time.

you’ve been dating him for a few months now, but he’s not your first. he never was. you tried to have both amour and innocent as your firsts, and even if you’d denied it before, you’ve accepted now that what you did was nothing less than plain cheating. you vaguely recall wanting to be in some polyamorous relationship with the two of them--when you look back at it now, you honestly don’t know _what_ you expected, being terrible at communication when you knew that was probably _the_ most important thing to it. the next time you saw them, they were together. and maybe it was better that way, anyway.

when it had come down to you asking punkish out, you told yourself things would change.

one evening, you find yourself in your bed with him, lips locked in a kiss. you don’t really remember what started it--you have a knack for forgetting things like that, it seems. you don’t think about it when it happens, but you slide a hand slowly up against his stomach and towards his chest, his body tensing faintly under your touch. suddenly, he breaks the kiss--you figure maybe it was a little much and he needs air. but his arms uncoil from your neck, and his hands are on your shoulders, pushing you back.

“wait,” he gasps.

you pull back a bit in response to his movement, and there’s an uncertainty in his aquamarine eyes that you’ve never seen before. actually, he’s not even looking at you. he’s lost somewhere else. his quiet breaths are shaky, and you quickly realize that something’s wrong.

you get off him, and take his hands to help him sit up with you. you reach toward him, asking him if he’s okay, but he recoils with a soft gasp. he closes his legs at lightning speed and pulls his knees close, scooting back against the headboard. his shoulders are tense, and his eyes are on you, and they’re _scared_ \--there’s no one else in this room, nothing that can hurt him, and you don’t know _what_ he sees, or if it’s really just you who did something wrong.

you swallow, watching him intently. you have to _say_ something, goddammit. you can’t just let history repeat itself.

“can i...hold your hand?”

he hesitates, but eventually answers with a small nod. you carefully take his small hand in yours, and he tenses up, clamping his other hand over his mouth. you stay still to give him a moment, unsure if he really does want to be touched at all right now, but you experimentally begin drawing slow circles on his dorsal with your thumb, quietly assuring him that he’s safe and that no one else is here with him but you. a few minutes go by without him fighting the contact, and you hear his breaths evening out. he calms down gradually, and you start to see an end to the tunnel.

“sorry,” he finally whispers, lowering his hand from his face. “i should have said something earlier.”

you shake your head. “no. _i’m_ sorry. i got ahead of myself.”

he swallows, audibly nervous. “i just haven’t...done this in a while,” he admits quietly. “my last partner...he...”

he trails off, and you sense another spiral coming. “hey.” you squeeze his hand, and his eyes meet yours. there’s a war behind those orbs, and it’s obvious he’s been fighting alone this whole time. “whatever happened with him,” you begin slowly, “it _wasn’t_ your fault.”

“it _was,_ ” he insists, breaking eye contact as tears swell in his. “it _was_ my fault. i didn't stop him, and it wouldn't have happened otherwise.”

“punkish. look at me.”

he does, and a quiet sob escapes his glossy lips.

“ _he_ was the one that hurt _you._ you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to blame yourself for that. you don’t deserve that kind of torture.” you lift your other hand to dry the tears running down his beautiful face. “can i hold you?” you ask quietly.

he nods, less hesitantly than before, and he allows you to let go of his hand and wrap your arms gently around his trembling body. his arms return to your neck, and he rests his head on your shoulder, his breath hitching.

“i would never do anything to hurt you. ever.”

his voice comes out as a strained whisper. “promise?”

“promise.”

_and if i break that promise--or even if i don't--you have every right to leave._

the room falls silent, save for the sound of punkish trying to calm down again and match his breathing with yours.

“i don’t think i’m ready to...do anything that intimate,” he tells you a few minutes later, when his breathing has steadied out.

you hum affirmatively. “should we take it slow for now, then?”

“...i’d like that.” he lifts his head up, and you meet his questioning eyes. “but are you sure...? we aren’t, like...gonna go _too_ slow for you?”

you give a small reassuring smile. “don’t worry, i’m patient. we can go at whatever pace is fine with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> butterfly on your right shoulder still has my entire life and tbh i've always seen it as a song abt someone in an abusive relationship that knows it's abusive but can't bring themselves to leave bc then they'll feel like something's missing from their lives and ig that's punkish's backstory in my head...his previous partner is up to you (´･ω･`)
> 
> also i've always grouped some of the modules together depending on their aesthetic so innocent/reactor/punkish/amour/lorelei/guilty are all one group to me lol
> 
> ps: school is about to start again for me which means updates for the kailen red string fic will be much slower and if i post anything at all within the next month or so they will most likely be shorter works like this one unless i put all my focus into writing the red string fic. wish me luck lol (´∀`)ｂ


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